Sex Sells.

Okay, so somedays I really feel like I am a poor excuse for my sex. While on the outside I may appear somewhat attractive, as if I care about my appearance like my hair, skin, eyes, body, lips, clothes etc., I could really give a shit...it's all decoration. What I am really thinking is how much I wanna go home and make fart jokes with my sister and walk around in a sports bra and gym shorts.

While people take these beautiful pictures of themselves for facebook, or whatever reason, everytime I post a "pretty" picture of myself, I think, "Wow, is this anywhere close to my real personality? DOes this really reflect who I am?" Not that it should matter, right? It's just facebook and I never really gave a shit what people thought so I don't know. But we post pictures of ourselves that we consider to be our best pictures (for the default) because that is what we want people to see when they click onto our profile. Why do I care though? I huddle deep down into myself and realize the subjects and quirks I would like people to know about me, and it has absolutely nothing to do with my appearance. I do not give a shit if people think I am pretty or not. I think I would rather somebody think I am funny and interesting.

I decorate my face and my body so that I can draw people in so that they will want to talk to me so I can make somebody interested rather than just attracted. I love making new friends. That really is all it is. I am not out hunting for a relationship or anything serious, besides acquaintance-ship or a new friendship. Underneath all of it, though, I would love to sit back, drink some beers, watch House in my underwear and dick around with my sisters and friends.

People are so damn worried about looking proper and professional, just chill out. Underneath that, people just want to go home and take the stick out of their ass, pass their gas and be a dick. Seriously, when I go home at the end of the day and my sister is their just chilling, we enjoy a glass of wine and ripping people apart on our own time. That is how it is. Most girls want to do the same, but won't let themselves because they have to keep up with their outward appearances. Fuck it all! Just be the person you are. If you are a fucking dick, then it is better to be honest about it than to put on that fake smile and pretend like you enjoy the company you are in.

I honestly do not know what I am trying to say here. I guess I am a bit of a hypocrite because I do dress up my body and I do have "pretty" facebook pictures, but for anybody who really does know me, knows that I am way more than my facebook profile. I am way more than my clothes and my jewelry. My personality and humor is a way more gorgeous thing than the make-up upon my face and the hair a-top my head. I am shallow a lot, but I do go quite deep when the moment strikes, but most people are. I can be polite and sweet, but at other times I can be worse than a drunken frat boy. I really am my own huge contradiction, but if their is anything I cannot contradict, it would be my loyalty to the people I love. That is why I love to collect friendships so that I can share myself with good people. How do you create a friendship? Attraction. Primal and the basis of evolution. Looks. Smell. Touch. Taste. Sound. All senses make up what we think is attractive.

I know if I see somebody who I think is gorgeous, that is what compels me to want to talk to them. If and when I do talk to them, they better have a killer personality to follow otherwise, the interest dwindles and I lather, rinse, repeat.

Personality honestly is the most important thing in a friend or acquaintance because that is what keeps you coming back for more. Honesty, even if they are huge dicks, is better than having a synthetic personality. Decoding that honesty is harder, but that is when instincts need to kick in.

So, when I say I am somewhat a disgrace to my sex, perhaps again, it just all comes down to one phrase, "I just don't care," and a woman's nature is to care. Yes, I decorate myself, but I would rather people just come up and ask me about myself. I am a way prettier person on the inside than I am on the outside. I think that is saying a lot too, because I'm not too shabby. I don't even know if that is old fashioned, or something, but this day in age, sex sells.